Momma's Helper

2 weeks ago I started watching my friend Chris' daughter, Emma who is a year younger than Caleb, twice a week. I wanted to support her as a friend and a mom as she headed back to teaching high school and was in a bind for childcare. I am anti-daycare and wanted to reach out and offer my helping hand in hope that she could avoid that option. I also wanted to get the practice of caring for two children as Kerry and I are hoping to expand our family in the near future!

I must say that taking care of 2 is not as crazy as I had thought! I think I have lucked out because Emma is an extremely happy, easy going baby, plus she is not mobile yet so that makes a big difference! Caleb loves to play with baby Emma. The other day he was anxiously awaiting her arrival at our door. He likes to help me push the stroller on our walk, feed her bottle, read to her about the history of the Red Sox and also play! Although she is better about sharing than he is! He even put away her diaper in the diaper champ all by himself! I was so pleased! Oh and let's not forget about the Happy Feet! He dances around and she sits and smacks her feet on the ground! So cute!

I am encouraged mostly by Caleb, that he will be an awesome big brother and a great helper to me! He has not shown jealously, but love and playfulness with Emma. Yeah, he may offer her some crayons for coloring which she decides to munch on or bang on the door for her to wake up from her morning nap, but its all in good fun! I have not attempted to take them both out in the car, we have stuck close to home as I am not quite ready to approach that road just yet if I don't have to!

The WORST tantrum yet!

I am definitely preparing myself for the terrible 2 stage after tonight. I guess I can say its like those teenage girls on 16 & Pregnant who say, "I never thought it would happen to me." You want your child to be somewhat close to perfect because their behavior reflects upon you right? Kerry and I were just discussing again last week about how to combat bratty behavior. If we let him win these tantrums, his behavior will never change or be corrected. He will turn into that bratty kid that is never disciplined and does whatever he pleases. I do not want that. I certainly don't want to be looked at as a mom with no control. I can read article after article on how to deal with tantrums, but sometimes the tactics just don't work for me so I have to do what I think is best at the time.

Let me give you the play by play of what went down at Super Target tonight.

We arrive happy as can be. Caleb now loves Super Target (he is rewarded with a lollipop for good behavior) so taking him here has not been a chore. We walk hand in hand into the store until Caleb sees that he will be trapped in a cart and starts to run saying, "No cart. No cart." I see him try to hide around a corner so I catch him and scoop him up. He instantly begins to scream and fight being put into the cart. So much so, that is a battle for a good 5 minutes to get him to sit down in the cart. I see many onlookers from produce watching this public nightmare unfold, but do I give up? No. I keep trying and finally get him in, strapped. I need all the support I can get now at this point. He is screaming like he is being tortured for about 10 minutes as I quickly shop. I am trying to ignore the fact that I am disturbing other shoppers at this point, but no one really has given me any looks, they just keep on their merry ways, but inside I know what they are thinking. I would think the same thing. Most experts say to ignore the tantrum. If no one is paying attention, the behavior tends to cease. Cease, I think not. At one point, he has managed to make his way out of the restraint and is now standing in the cart. This is very dangerous as he fell backward doing this exact same thing at Lowe's during a tantrum. Did he not learn? Now he is hanging on me, begging to walk. I cannot have a toddler walk around loose in Target as fun as it may sound to him. I set him down for a moment to swallow my anger and he is gone. I quickly look to the right a few aisles. No Caleb. I turn around and there he is with 2 boxes of maxi pads in hand wanting to put them in the cart. Thanks, but no thanks. I pick him up again, the boxes drop. A man helps by picking them up for me. Inside I am furious, but I am in public and there is not much I can do. I see a bench nearby and I try and sit him down for a breather. No luck.

We must now abandon our cart and leave the store. I carry him out to the car and he is screaming for Super Target. Super Target. Super Target. I buckle him in easily (this is a surprise, because this can be a battle during tantrums too!) and try and have a chat with him about the tantrum and how inappropriate it was. That Mommy now has to drive all the way home because you misbehaved in the store. He continues to scream Super Target. Super Target as we drive away. At this point, I am mad because Super Target is not right around the corner anymore. I drove here to get some things needed and I don't want to return home empty handed. We drive around the block and talk it out. I tell him that we can go back to Super Target if he will sit in the cart for Mom. "Okay. Okay." I tell him again that we only get treats if we behave in the store. "Okay. Okay." I pull back into the parking lot and carry him back inside without a struggle. I find our abandoned cart still waiting for us and place him in the cart. No battle. I am able to finish my shopping with a happy boy who is finally rewarded with his lollipop.

Now you may be thinking, Caleb does not deserve the lollipop. I would think the same thing too, but he corrected his behavior and earned the reward. Did I let him win this battle? No. I removed him from the situation and attempted our errand again. I guess my pep talk helped, I don't know. I would have let him win if I let him do what he wanted to do-walk in the store. I told Kerry the only time I have given into these tantrums is really during a bib boycott in a restaurant. I'd rather he mess up his shirt so we can eat in peace out in public.

Every day is different. These tantrums are not daily, they sneak up on you when you least expect it. I do not want to raise a brat. I want to raise a respectable young man. Each battle is a learning experience on how to better handle the next one. You just hope there is not a next!

P.S. If anyone who reads my blog has helpful advice on handling tantrums.....please let me know!

Extra Mula for a SAHM!

Okay, so I am on this SAHM kick I guess. Maybe I am just bored since Kerry is out tonight and I have a few minutes to spare, but I wanted to share some legit ways of making and saving some extra cash in your spare time......if you have any! Ha!

Soon after Caleb was born, I was reading one of my favorite blog sites, http://www.babycheapskate.blogspot.com/ which I had come across reading some sort of baby magazine prior to his birth. It is awesome if you have not come across it, details sales and great deals on anything and everything you might possibly need for your child. Diaper/Formula deals, clothing/shoe sales, stroller/carseat steals! You name it! There is also another site that is pretty cool too, http://www.thethriftymama.com/. Just took advantage of a free Redbox rental the other night because I happened to look at the right time. These sites are created by moms who know how to find the deals and gladly share them with other moms who are somewhat clueless on stone cold bargain hunting! I do like to find my share of deals using coupons, but I am not crazy about it. I have tried to read up on http://www.couponmom.com/ to figure out her tactics, but some of it is a bit extreme and I have found some good deals there too.

Okay to the point I wanted to highlight. Babycheapskate had a post on taking online surveys that legitimately pay out. I thought, I will need some extra cash, why don't I check these out and see what happens. Well, over the past two years I have earned cash, gift cards and free products for taking daily surveys which can be fun! I have always enjoyed being asked my opinion or participating in focus groups. I took part in a focus group back in Phoenix on baby wipes and earned $100 for 2 hours of my time, plus I got a free pack of wipes to trial prior to the group, plus I arrived 10 minutes early to be entered into their early bird drawing and actually won another $100 for being pulled out of the hat! Wow! The cool thing about these surveys that are delivered to your inbox daily is that you have no obligation to take them. If you take a few days, the survey may be closed and you lose it, but tomorrow is another opportunity! Also, you may not qualify for every survey sent, but its worth a try to earn points or cash rewards right? I just took a survey today about what kind of toys I would buy Caleb and earned $4. It took me about 10 minutes to complete! I'll take it!

Another favorite part of participating in these online research panels is that I have qualified to test products currently on the market or potential new ideas to be evaluated by everyday people. Here is an idea of what I have tested and received a cash reward in follow up survey:

*Toilet Paper (Currently evaluating. I got a 6 pack that they pay me to use!)
*Pantene Shampoo/Conditioner (Currently evaluating. Full size, supposed to use for a month in place of my current shampoo.)
*Sunscreen
*Men's Shave Gel
*Flatbread microwave pizza (2 different kinds were overnighted frozen for me to eat! They were actually quite good!)
*Baby Wipes
*Diapers
*Training Pants (Recently got a pack of Huggies Pull Ups and Pampers Easy Ups to compare)
*Salad Dressing

I often forget to login to my accounts and check my balances so I can cash out. I remember to do it every couple months and just recently I received nearly $80 in cash and a $25 starbucks giftcard. I also participate in a momtalk community put on by the company Novartis, which I contribute to a few times a month and I have earned $30 to Amazon so far. Not bad for sharing my opinion right? So you are probably saying to yourself, shutup already, tell me what the websites are so I can sign up! Here are the survey sites I partake in:

https://www.globalopinionpanels.com/home?lang=en_US
https://www.opinionoutpost.com/dashboard.php
http://www.valuedopinions.com/
https://www.mysurvey.com/
http://www.acop.com/Default.aspx
http://www.globaltestmarket.com/

I don't know about you, but I love treats on occasion. Not having the extra income, these treats can be sacrificed. Today I got Caleb some dinosaurs and a hula hoop with one of the VISA gift cards I received from a survey group. We also shared a "pink milk" from Starbucks using a gift card I had earned earlier this week. I LOVE THIS TYPE OF MARKETING and am proud to contribute my opinions when I want for REWARDS!!!!

Another quick pointer on babycheapskate and thrifty mama. Check them out daily if you have the time because you never know what deal may be gone tomorrow! Good luck!

A typical day of the SAHM

I haven't had much to blog about recently as I figure only exciting things should be shared right? Maybe not. A few weeks ago I was having lunch poolside with some moms, all who work at least part time or full and my friend Beth said, "So is this what its like to be a Stay at Home Mom?" For those of you who might also wonder what a day is like, let me give you a rundown on a typical day of a SAHM.

7am: Caleb typically wakes up. This could change from day to day. Today was 737, yesterday was 710, the day before was 630. Waking up for me is when I hear "Mama!" That means I am ready to start my day, get me outta this crib! We usually start our day with some Charlie & Lola per Caleb's request.

730am: Breakfast. My breakfast menu contains the following, but I usually offer him a few to choose from: Multigrain waffle with strawberry jelly, plain mini pancakes, blueberry muffin tops, strawberry or blueberry cereal bar or oatmeal. Depending on his hunger, I will usually serve some fruit alongside. Oh, and Caleb always has to have his milk! We will watch another episode of Charlie & Lola, Curious George or Imagination Movers, it all depends on his mood.

830am: Playtime with Daddy before he heads to work. This could be spinning cups, playing baseball, coloring or sticker books. Everyday changes! This morning it was playing Curious George cards (or rather throwing them all over the room) and a few swings of baseball.

900am: I usually have a plan for the day, whether it be a playdate, errands, splash pad, free movie, etc. Today Caleb wanted to play with his friends Maddie & Nico who have been away on vacation for 3 weeks, but they were still getting into their groove and needed an extra day to recooperate, so we took Speedy for a walk and then ran a few errands.

1100am: We return home and Caleb wants to pretend drive the car for a bit, then he spies some bubbles and oh, we have to play basketball and collect pebbles. So much to do! After pebbles in the pond, he rakes a bit, then he spies another ball to play with which is near his koala climber, so we toss the ball back and forth a few minutes and then he slides a few times before I say, "Let's wash hands and have lunch!" "I rake. Throw pebbles. Play basketball." replies Caleb. Anything but go inside!

1130am: Lunch is usually served during an episode of Word World. This is a fun educational show where words come alive! I just came across it on PBS. My lunch menu consists of the following and again I offer a few choices: Mac n Cheese, PB&J sandwich, Grilled Cheese, Squash & Banana, Sweet Potato & Applesauce, Apple & Carrot, Cheese & Crackers alongside a fruit if needed. Oh, and milk. Don't forget the milk!

1230pm: I would like Caleb to be in his bed for a nap. Sometimes earlier depending on when he woke up. He knows that when Word World is over, nigh nigh time is here and usually will go down with minor chatter. Today, he has talked and thrown lamby overboard throughout his entire nap. Very seldom days are like this, but sometimes he wants to be up for 12 hours straight! Yippee! Nap time is my time to work, check email, blog, clean or possibly take a nap myself if I need one!

230pm: Caleb usually yells, "Mama!" and I come to his rescue! Again, he requests Charlie & Lola usually, so we watch an episode to unwind from his nap.

300pm: Afternoon activities usually involve reading, coloring, sticker books, collecting pebbles, playing basketball, raking, taking a walk along the river. However after yesterday I believe Caleb should be stroller bound on walks. I had Speedy, Caleb's baseball bat and ball which he had to bring along but I ended up carrying. When it was time to head back home, Caleb protested by sitting in the middle of the trail. I kept walking hoping he would follow. He did not. I wish I had my camera to capture this cute little boy sitting in the middle of the trail. I would pick him up and he would fight, "I walk. I walk." I put him down, he sat back down. This went on for most of the way home until I came up with a good idea. Kick his baseball and maybe he will chase it. He did! Yeah! He is nearly 30lbs and when he is fighting it, he is not much fun to be holding, especially when I have an 80lb dog walking alongside us.

500pm: Daddy usually arrives home and Caleb runs to the door as soon as he hears the garage door open. Always greeting Kerry with such excitement! Makes his day! Kerry will play with Caleb while I prepare dinner which is a huge help! Caleb is usually not fond of my dinner menu, so I will fix him a plate of 3 items, usually a vegetable with some fruits or cheese. We are starting to realize that Caleb may be vegetarian. He has no interest in meat any longer! Vegetables are tough too (you saw my limited selection at lunch, those are offered at dinner too), but he had been asking for corn after seeing it on Word World and I made it the other night and to my surprise he ate it! I was shocked! Thank you Word World!

600pm: After dinner playtime, whether we go to the community pool, play basketball, spin cups, dance, sticker books or take another walk by the river, we enjoy some family time together before unwinding for bed.

700pm: Unwind. We try and have Caleb cuddle with one of us and just relax before bedtime. Whether we watch some Charlie & Lola again or if I get lucky and he wants to watch, "Fortune" (Wheel of Fortune).

730pm: Bedtime. When we say time to wash hands and brush teeth, Caleb runs to his bathroom and gets the stool and we help him do just that! During his last diaper change, he loves Kerry to read the book, "That's not my Teddy". We have read it so much, we all can recite it, but its a touch and feel book so we go through it a few times each night because Caleb loves it so. He also is trying to postpone going to bed by asking for it again and again! We lay him down, say our prayers and lights out.

830pm: Caleb has usually fallen asleep by this time. He plays the game of "Lamby mama. Lamby mama." where he throws his blankey overboard again and again. Drives Kerry and I crazy, but taking it away only makes it worse! Since our move, Caleb hasn't gone to sleep right away. He use to lay down without a peep. We haven't been so lucky here in Indy!

Being a SAHM is not easy, peasy lemon squeezy. I typically work 12 hour shifts, being on call the other 12 when he is sleeping. You never have a day off (at least I have never taken one). You devote all of your time and energy into this precious gift that God has so richly blessed you with, that you could care less about a new pair of shoes or a nice haircut because you chose to sacrifice all of those things you could have to be at home with your child. It is not about you anymore. Good sacrifice? Most definitely. I wouldn't change it for the world.